Helping Neurodiverse Learners Thrive In School And At Home

Helping Neurodiverse Learners Thrive In School And At Home is a special live session featuring Dr. Stanley Ekiyor, created for parents, educators, and caregivers who support neurodivergent children and teens.

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Ekiyor shares practical, actionable strategies for strengthening executive functioning skills, reducing academic stress, improving parent–school collaboration, and creating supportive environments where children feel understood, confident, and empowered.

This session is designed to equip you with clear tools and insights to help neurodivergent learners thrive not just get by both in school and at home.

Listen to the full episode on your favorite podcast platform and check out the video version on our YouTube channel!

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If you want to schedule an ADHD/Autism appointment for your child, you may contact Glow Pediatrics:

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Okay. Well, hello everyone, and welcome to Brain Power with Dr. Echo. I have an amazing guest with me today. His name is Dr. Stanley Akeo. He's an he's an educator and just an amazing human being. And so welcome to the show, Dr. Ekeo.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Oh, thank you very much. It's an honor to be here today, and thank you for inviting me.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Yes, our pleasure. So, without further ado, I'm not gonna read about you. I want Dr. Akiya to tell us the amazing work he does with families and kids and just introduce himself to us. So go ahead, Dr. Ekiya.

Defining Neurodiversity And Supports

SPEAKER_00 1:04

All right, I'm Dr. Stanley Ekey, and uh I see myself as a teacher first and foremost, right? I have a 20-year experience uh in the educational field. I'm a behavior analyst, and I help schools and you know build equitable and trauma-informed and neurodiverse affirming systems, you know. At the heart of my work is empathy, inclusive, culturally responsive, evidence-based behavior support, right? So when we talk about neurodiverse and uh and the core of my work, I'm talking about ADHD or you know, attention, deficit, hyperactivity, disorder, autism, you know, individuals, autistic individuals. Uh, I support this group with tools like you know the FBA process function uh based assessment and uh behavior intervention plans, uh, the IEP development and implementation processes, and MTSS, multi-tier systems of support, which is very, very important, very fundamental in my work, right? Uh, because we are talking about three aspects of uh providing support, early detection and prevention, and you know, in a systematic way. So ultimately, my goal is to create environments where children can thrive, not just in school with educators, but at home with parents.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Wonderful. See, that's why you're here. So tell us the parents who are listening, they I see lots of patients. I mean, I talk to lots of families and lots of parents who have, let's start with school, who are fighting that they have this issue at school, they're fighting for resources for their children, fighting for support for their children, and they're not getting the help that they need. So, what are practical things that parents can do? First of all, to create that relationship with the teachers and with the staff at school, and also just even with their child, right? Before they go to school. So, what can parents do?

Parents As Partners And Advocates

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Well, basically, um, like I say, parents are the first teachers, right? Um, we have to be aware of what ever the diagnosis is. You have to know what it is, you you know, you have to understand how it manifests, not just only at home, but at school. And the difference uh uh the environment does to how it does manifest. So school might be telling you this is what they are seeing, you might not be seeing that at home. It doesn't mean it does not exist because they are two different environments. Now, as a parent, uh I know um it's always challenging to accept um certain diagnoses because uh most people uh think about it from a deficit perspective. And so we are you know uh uh uh we we just don't embrace it the way we should, right? Uh forgetting that there's so much strength around it, and if we look at the strength there, there's nothing we cannot do. Now, being a willing partner with your uh with your your school, your child's teacher or educators is very fundamental. A partner that is aware, you have to understand what the process is, what is needed, and how to go about it. And you have to know that by right, there are laws that protect you. Every step needs your participation and your consent. You give consent to even start any process, and so that you are involved and you ask the right questions. And if you you're not sure, there's no silly question. If you're not sure, you ask for clarification, you ask them to break down all those acronyms that at times can sound you know out of place. So, my advice is simple awareness. What am I dealing with? What are the questions I need to ask? What are the answers that I'm hearing? Are they ones that are explicit enough for me to understand and to utilize? If you have that, then chances are you can work with your teacher in a way that uh uh will be very clear.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Okay, thank you for breaking it down in that way. And of course, as a parent, my first question will be so how do I know what questions to ask?

What To Ask Schools About ADHD

SPEAKER_00 6:16

Yes, the first question is what are the challenges that you're going to school for? What did the doctor tell you that your child has? For instance, let's take uh uh attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, popularly known as ADHD. So if your child is diagnosed with ADHD, then I am expecting, I might be speculating, I might be naive, I am expecting that your doctor or your pediatrician has had a conversation with you to break down what the characteristics are, right? And you hear them talk about uh the three different characteristics attention, uh inability to focus, right? Uh uh they will talk about uh impulsivity, you know, move interrupt, you know, most times they can't take turns, they will interrupt conversations, they must have discussed with you hyperactivity, which is the part that deals with movement, you know, they can't sit still. They must have given you all those. So, with that background information, you can now go to a school and say, Hey, this is what my my child has, this is what the doctor says. How is your school designed to accommodate this process? What kind of supports do you have in this building to address these issues? So you see, the awareness starts from you, first of all, knowing what it is, and then you can now ask questions as to what the school has and the support they can provide for your child and what they need from you.

Reliable Sources And Parent Communities

SPEAKER_01 8:02

I like that. Okay, wonderful. So we we find out what questions to ask, and if our doctor hasn't explained, where do you suggest uh parents go to find out more information about diagnosis that their child has?

Strengths Over Stigma And Possibility

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Yeah, the the you know there are tons of uh websites I can uh I can give to you. Uh you are a pediatrician, you know you guys have you know a wonderful website where you know there are tons of information there. The CDC. Um those are areas you can Google search. We all have search engines in our phone. It's you know, it's if you can search and um get information from reliable uh uh uh uh or evidence. And if you get to those websites, you can see links to other reliable uh uh uh websites that you can get information and clarity. And uh the CDC uh most times they have so much data uh that will address most of the different areas that you know you are um you are dealing with, you know, what it looks like in school, at home support, uh, parent training, and all those things. And you know, your pediatrician should also be in a position to give you some of these tools. And if you don't have it, then these are areas you can, and even in your school, the schools can support you with that. Uh, the the the the the experts in the school can support you, the behavior uh uh specialist or the social worker or the counselor can provide you with those information if you ask, they can show you those areas you can go and get yourself informed. And there are several groups too, several groups. For instance, if it is autism or autistic, you have a lot of groups where you can really see and meet with people or interact with people who are actually having the same challenges you are having as a parent, right? That have kids that have ADHD or one of these neurodiverse uh uh challenges, and those are groups you can you know go in, listen, and see that they share the same the same uh challenges and how they are able to manage it. So joining those types of groups too is great for you because it helps you to understand that uh there's solution, uh, there's a way, it's not a deficit that it moves you from the deficit mindset and from that stigma that makes you feel like, oh my goodness, it's something I don't want to talk to. I mean, talk about to a place where you can see strength and know that there are very, very successful people out there with those uh with those diagnoses and and they're doing very well, and awareness can help you to support your child to greatness.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

Yes, yeah, I I love what you just said because often I get the question after I do the evaluation for a child, and I get the question from the parents um, will my child be able to take care of themselves? Well, does this mean my child will have to stay home the rest of their lives? Things like that. And I always tell parents we we don't know, but because we're starting intervention early, right? There is no telling where this child will go. And I encourage parents to look at their children, like be detectives of their children. How can I find out what my child's strength is so we can boost it? This that's similar to what you're saying, definitely strength-based, right? Yes, that's I think that's even the most critical piece because if parents themselves see this child as less than I think the battle is already over.

Mindset Shift Beyond The Box

SPEAKER_00 11:57

Yes, yes, yes, and I will add to that, I always give this quote, right? Because traditions tend to mask our ability to succeed most times, and I always say to parents, right, the past should serve as a guide for what needs to change, right? Not as a tradition we must follow. Because when you have that mindset because of what you've heard and what kind of uh values and beliefs that are guiding you, then you you you stifle your own growth and your child's growth. Now you're thinking in a box, and anything outside that box becomes overwhelming. Because if you're in a if you're in a box in a wire in a warehouse, right? A warehouse of several boxes, you only know what is in that box, and you are you are conditioned to thinking that's your world. But if you are able to come out of that box, and that's why I emphasize awareness. If you are able to come out of that box, you'll see that it's a mighty warehouse with several boxes. And if you step out of that warehouse, you see that I mean there are tons and tons of warehouses like that, right? So the key is this is what I've been told. I want to educate myself, and there are you will, if it is information you need, if you're not careful, you get drowned in it, right? But but it's it's it's helpful for you to know that you know the the kids with all these diagnoses. They've been, I mean, there are tons of them out there that have succeeded, adults that are that have succeeded because name a few. Yeah, I I I can go on and you know name a few for you. You you know, like parents that are listening now, let it not just be like I'm making up stuff. You can just search for famous people uh in America with ADHD and see the list. Famous people in America with autism, see the list, famous people dyslexia. You can go on and on and see all that, right? Right, and doing that even gives you an opportunity to see how they made it. And you, as a parent listening right now, you're taking the first step that parents of those kids took. Awareness, you want to know, you want to ask the right question, you want to look at their strengths, you want to start at home, you want to think about how you can design the home environment because I am all about environment, and that's my training as a behavior analyst. I am not thinking about what you're thinking in your head. I only wonder and look at how it impacts the environment and how the environment impacts it, right? Right, and so that's where I look at and that's how I address it. So hopefully, we'll continue to talk and we'll talk about the home environment, school environment, how you know we can align all those things to make sure our kids get exactly what they need to succeed.

Designing Inclusive Classrooms

SPEAKER_01 15:08

I agree. So, since we've been talking about school, let's talk about the school environment. What are practical things that we can put in place as parents to improve the school environment, and then we'll talk about the home environment.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Okay, the school environment is simple, uh, it's just being inclusive, understanding and building. I always say this relational before instructional. There has to be a relationship. Hey, I won't eat your food if I don't like you. So I don't care how great the teacher is, there has it has to start with getting to understand the kid, and you cannot understand somebody, you cannot see somebody and create a safe environment if you have not been able to porge yourself of your implicit biases, if you have not been able to look at yourself and say, Hey, what's the lens? What lens do I look at the world? How can I and how does that impact those who don't have that lens or who don't see things from that lens? What are my values? What are my beliefs, right? If you don't, first of all, pod yourself of that and realize your triggers, then trying to support kids becomes very, very difficult because somebody who doesn't have self-control cannot be a co-regulator. If you can't regulate yourself, how can you regulate a child? Right, create environments that kids have an opportunity to move. Who doesn't want to move? It drives me out of my skin when people say, you know, I have so many kids, how can I do every kid needs movement? Adults, attention spam this way. Research shows that we can we can last for so long, focus is not linear, right? So design environments where kids can move, design environments where kids can reflect, you know. Give kids classrooms are not supposed to be cemeteries, right? Quiet zones. If your classroom is quiet, there's a problem. There should be activities in the classroom, purposeful activities. Kids can discuss, debate, right? Share their thinking. We should have opportunity to listen. You know, everybody says they listen, active listening is different from just listening. The kids speak to us every minute. Behavior is communication. They are telling us something, but we don't listen because we most times want to hear what we expect to hear, and then we don't hear the kids. So you want the the educators should listen and design an environment that takes everybody into consideration. If you know their strength, we all have strengths, we all have weaknesses. If you know their strengths, then chances are you can you can you can take care of their weaknesses. Impulsivity, a kid interrupts you all the time, right? The kid is talkative. Okay, let's debate, let's create opportunities for that those kids to have debates, argue their point, intelligent point, teach them how to be critical thinkers and you know have those debates, right? Right, a kid uh you can take the role, leadership role, all right. You always can't sit still, all right. Stand up, and you know, there are so many things I can go on and on and on and um and and and and talk about this, but classrooms should be inclusive environments in the true sense of it. In the true sense of it. There's so much research that is a big gap between research and education, the school environment. Right, that's the bridge I am passionate about uh uh creating, right? That bridge, right?

Home Strategies With The BRID Mindset

SPEAKER_01 19:01

Thank you. I love what you said. Classrooms are not cemeteries, and every child needs movement. It's absolutely you're absolutely right. Every child needs to move. Um, so what would you say to the parents who are thinking, how can I help my children at home?

Structure, Routines, And Reinforcement

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Yes, I will um I will use something, uh, and this is the first time I'll be talking about it. I know just uh my students I'm still working with it with them, you know. But I'll talk about a framework. I don't call it a framework, I call it a mindset. Uh and you know, acronyms are great, it's bridge, but it's it doesn't add the es, it's just B I, I mean B R I D B for belong, right? And belong is strictly talking about strength-based, right, safety and inclusion, right now. Somebody will ask me, how does that play at home? After all, you know, every kid feels belong, right? Every kid feels belong, but I assure you there are kids who feel not seen even at the home environment because parents always believe it goes to the tradition. This is how we do things, this is how you're gonna do it. So at times we don't listen to them. So I say to a parent, the first thing is listen. The kids are talking to you, listen to them, get to the end of it before you profile solutions because our brains most times are wired to fix problems. So when our kids are talking to us, we are trying to solve the problem before they get to the end of this what they are trying to tell us, right? So um I see myself as a parent, what are your values? What are the values that are guiding you that are so rigid that needs change? Right? You have to ask yourself, you have to be honest with yourself, right? Nobody wants their kid on the cell phone, nobody wants their kid on technology because everybody says, Oh, if they get there, they're gonna get lost. But I want to ask you the world you see today and the one you lived in, are they the same? Technology is the future, technology is driving the world. So if you don't help your kid know how to use it properly, then you are indirectly creating a problem for them, a challenge for them, right? Now we go into how many times we affirm their their strengths, their identity, how many times do we celebrate those little things? Just like when they were kids, you know, the kid says da and everybody jumps up, and the kid repeats it, everybody jumps up, then the kid adds another da, then we say, Oh, the kid just said dada, and we are all celebrating, and the kid says, Oh, yeah, I got it, and they move on. How do you celebrate those little things looking at your kids? Right? Don't place your own burdens on them and your own fears. Then we talk about regulate. How do you regulate yourself? Do you are you as a parent? How do you regulate yourself? If you tell your kids when they are angry to take a deep breath, count to 10. Do you do that when you are angry? Because kids learn from what we do more than what we say, right? So for you to be able to regulate them, you have to be able to regulate yourself and let them see it, right? Right? I can do Be myself, right? That's what regulate means. I can be myself so you're confident about yourself and you know how to regulate yourself. Interact. How do you build relationships with your kids? Is it a relationship of I tell you what to do, you do it? Or is it a conversation? This is what I think is right. What's what's what do you think about this? Let me hear you out. And now break it down to saying, you know, why this does not work? The reason because kids will always ask you why. Why? And that's why it irritates some parents because I'm the parent, because I'm the adult. No, no, no, no, no, no. If you don't answer that, why some other person will answer it outside the home. So you listen to them and answer. Give them the reason why it's not right now, and and they get it. And when they get it, you are building that relationship that says, I am known. I am known, you know, you know, and finally, skills. As you're training them on skills, you must learn to know how to fare it, how to let them practice it so that you can see whether they are getting it right, right? And they're gonna make mistakes. Who doesn't make mistakes? Mistakes are not, I don't call them mistakes, mistakes are experience, experience not to do that same thing or to repeat it, right? So if you are able to do that, then they will grow. Television time, structure, create a structure, create a roadmap, every day's roadmap. This is what I do, this is what I do, this is what I do, and reinforce it. Reinforce it. What I mean by reinforce it is if a kid is able to brush and prepare for school, say something, don't just assume that's what they are supposed to do. Because the more you reinforce, the more you praise, the more they want to do it because they want your attention, right? So have that roadmap, have time for things. Don't tell a kid to stop what they are doing, maybe watching television and jump into something to go and do the chores. Give them time to you know stop what they are doing, you know. Give them time in 10 minutes, please come down and take care of the dishes, right? That is that works for especially neurodiverse uh students because now they understand, they they look forward to it. But when you stop them, when they are doing something they are interested in, right? Then we have all these problems. They will say something that might get you upset if you are not, you know, you don't know how to regular you are that traditionist that believes when adult talks, children cannot you, you you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. I grew up in that environment, but it doesn't work today. It doesn't, it does not work today. So we have to break those things down. So those are things you can do at home to create a system that you can use to challenge school. At home, I have structures for my kids, they know when to do this, they know when to do, they know when to go to bed, and this is how we do it. Can you try it at school? See, so you have experimented it because every day you are experimenting it, but because you don't have it, you are not doing it intentionally, just comes uh automatic as a parent, right? Right, you cannot use that as a tool to get schools to replicate it. But if you do it intentionally, you have there, you say, Hey, after all, we all Fridays, you take the kids out, vacation, you take the kids out, let them work for it, let them work with stickers for it. If you do this, first you do this, then you go here. We call it the grammar law, right? Everybody uses that. You do you play with your you finish your chore, you play with your friends, you finish your chore, you use your uh you go on your iPad. See, you are training them to understand that something comes for something, right? Right. So those are the things I you know we have limited time. I can go on and on to streamline those things, but hey, that's what I can say for now.

Tools Parents Can Share With Schools

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Wow, this has been really helpful. Um, parents, I hope I hope you heard this. And and for those who are watching on the replay, please leave us some comments and let us know if you have any questions for Dr. Ekeo. But this has been so helpful. I love the way you you put a name to what we parents have been doing, right? We put we we make them do this to get this as a reward. And I mean that's the way life is, and and so parents, it is doable, it's doable for you. It's possible that it's not too big of a lift for you to set structures in place that can flow across to school because yes, the teachers will be more willing to try it, especially if it's something that has worked for you at home. So, thank you so much for sharing your expertise with us. And for those parents who are listening, like, okay, we need to get a hold of Dr. Kio so he can help us with our kids. So, where can parents find you?

How To Reach Dr. Ekeo And Resources

SPEAKER_00 27:33

Yeah, I um I uh the my my uh consultancy business is WareB and Associate L C, right? And I also have a podcast on stitching as in UN S T I T C H I N G A D H D Urban Ed Talks with uh Dr. Stanley Ekeo. Um you know you can um uh reach me through comments, you can email me if you want to, and my email is s ekio se k io r at warebiassociates uh. Uh my my my website is Wareebi and Associates, I mean Warebiassociates.com. If you search that and Google it, you can go there. You know, you want consultancy, we can you can fill out the form, reach out to me, and we we provide different supports, and there are so many tools there uh free that you can uh you can utilize. And most of the things I talked about, links to the CDC and all these links are there that you can you can click on and get whatever information you need to, and that's a good place to get everything you need to know about me, warabiaassociates.com.

Closing And Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 29:04

Wonderful. We'll have all of those in the show notes. Yes, thank you so much again for uh educating us on how it how basically how doable it is for parents to advocate for their children, both at home and at school. Yes, and you heard Dr. Ikeyo say something I always say there is no silly question, always best to ask for help, right? Nobody knows everything, our children don't come with manuals, so we're all out here trying to help each other. Yes, so thank you so much for listening. And please share this episode with somebody that you think needs to hear this. And for those who need evaluation, medical evaluations for autism ADHD, we're here. If you need holistic care for your children with autism and ADHD, reach out to us at Glow Pediatrics. So, until next time, have an amazing day, and I hope uh this was very helpful for you. So, thank you again, Dr. Akio.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Thank you. Thank you. The honor is mine. Thanks.