Brain Power with Dr. Eko

S2|E1 Empowering Families to Travel and Thrive, with US Air Force Veteran Dina Farmer

• Dr. Hokehe Eko • Season 2 • Episode 1

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Discover the transformative journey of Ms. Dina Farmer, a US Air Force veteran who turned life's challenges into a mission to empower families with special needs. Driven by her own experiences as a military spouse and the mother of two children with autism, Dina shares invaluable insights into how travel can become a powerful tool for self-care and development. She sheds light on the unique hurdles faced by military families, from frequent relocations to career disruptions, and how these experiences fueled her passion for creating Spectrum Getaways. This initiative is not just about travel—it's about crafting accessible adventures that cater to the specific needs of families, offering practical advice, and encouraging parents to take small but meaningful steps.

Join us as we explore how travel can enrich the lives of children, particularly those with autism, through tailored experiences that foster growth and communication. Dina shares her wisdom on focusing on a child's strengths and nurturing their interests through unforgettable travel experiences. From exciting destinations like Japan to simple community outings, she illustrates how travel is an essential form of education and life enrichment. Her inspiring message challenges limitations and opens minds to new possibilities, making the world more accessible, one family at a time.

Connect with Dina on her website, www.spectrumgetaways.com, and follow her journey on Instagram and Threads as she continues to support the disabled community with her empowering resources.

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Dr. Eko:

Hello parents, welcome to Brain Power with Dr Eko. I have with me today Ms Dina Farmer and I'm going to let her introduce herself, because she has a really special story and what she does is so so important for parents out there who love to travel. So, ms Farmer, welcome to the show.

Dina Farmer:

Oh, thank you, Dr Eko, for having me. I'm so glad that we connected through Instagram because of what you do for families and I know we're talking a little bit about how thankful I am because, to be transparent with my story, I'm a US Air Force veteran and a US Air Force spouse, and I was just saying my husband's retiring very, very soon, in a couple of days.

Dr. Eko:

What you and your husband have done, thank you.

Dina Farmer:

It's been a long journey, but now I'm looking forward to new horizons, for sure, and more travel On our dime, not the military's dime.

Dr. Eko:

Yeah.

Dina Farmer:

Well, I got my start because I separated from the Air Force and I was a stay-at-home mom and no like negatives about that. I really enjoyed being home with my son and it is a full-at-home mom and no like negatives about that. I really enjoyed being home with my son and it is a full-time job, a hundred percent, but being at home. I still wanted to have some kind of career and if you know anything about being a military spouse, it can be very, very difficult. We're one of the most underemployed and unemployed demographic in the United States. I think like 80 something percent of military spouses don't have jobs because it's so difficult to maintain a career like with licensing, and states are not very forgiving with that. So I decided to become a travel agent because one of my friends said I made it look very, very easy to book a trip to Disney and I was like, well, it is easy for me, I know, I understand. So I was on this journey of being a travel advisor and then my oldest son was diagnosed with autism and I thought, well, geez, I've already known that. I just didn't really understand what it meant and I finally had a label to say, hey, this is what's going on and like how we can best approach helping him so that our travels aren't so difficult. So after the diagnosis we did the you know I read the water hose of information, all like fun stuff involved with that.

Dina Farmer:

But we still had to move as a military family and that meant every you know three to four years. We were going somewhere new. And how do we adjust with that journey journey, especially because he's only been through one or two moves at that point. So, like you know, he's not used to that. So I kind of was like how do I best support my son on continuing to travel, because I love to travel, but also through each of these moves, because it can be very difficult, especially with the changes and you know, a new home and new smells and new cities and all that stuff.

Dina Farmer:

So I tapped into the travel and tourism industry that I was already a part of and I found that there is little to no support. Again, I think this is a theme in my life, like little to no support. So what can I do to change that? So I decided that I'm going to reach out to tourism boards and tourism suppliers and I'm going to work in my own industry as a travel advisor to use my tips and tricks of what I'm doing with my own son to be able to help other families travel the world. Because regardless of where your child is at on the spectrum, I wholeheartedly believe that it's possible to travel, even if that travel is just the next city over. I really think it's 100% possible. So I opened Spectrum Goodways to help other families travel the world, or even their own backyard.

Dr. Eko:

I love it. I love that you said even their own backyard, because I talk to so many parents who feel like they can't even leave their homes right and do the things that they would love to do. And, yes, it's easy to say, yes, self-care, but then what does that really really look like? And I'm so glad that you're breaking it down for parents and making it, helping them to dream again and to actually not just dream but put it into practice, like actually do it. So that is so invaluable. Thank you for what you're doing. What tips would you give a mom who feels like, okay, I have this child and they require so much care. My son or my daughter requires so much care. How can I possibly plan a trip?

Dina Farmer:

Especially with like planning in your own backyard. I highly recommend looking into what options you have with your insurance because, believe it or not, there are so many different ways that you can be supported by your insurance. So, for example, with us in the military, we get respite care about 40 hours. Well, I think they're changing. It's like 32 hours of respite care that's paid for by the military and you can use that respite care to help you. So if you wanted to go to the aquarium for the day, you could have a respite care provider come with you to be able to go to the aquarium and you can use those hours. Of course, it's for self-care too, but then, at the same time, I feel like vacationing and traveling are self-care within themselves and you can experience that with someone who is trained and knows how to help. Your child isn't judging you because they're having a meltdown in public or you know they're just having a hard time. They can this maybe a third set of hands that are available to you. I love, I love respite. We have a great respite care provider, the. The boys really love her a lot. She's fantastic.

Dina Farmer:

But another one would be just to do really teeny, tiny baby steps. Just test something that you know that your child already likes. So maybe they like the aquarium, so you can go for an hour and then come home or go to like. My youngest son loves the McDonald's play place. We don't eat the food, we just go and eat Like. That's a nice way to test it out, to see how it's going to work for you, so that once you're ready for bigger and longer trips, you're already prepared because you've been doing little, teeny, tiny things. All around your neighborhood park there are national parks if you have one that's nearby Something just really small for a short amount of time that you know that your child is interested in Tiny, bite-sized chunks.

Dr. Eko:

So question about the respite care is that 32 hours per year or is that per month?

Dina Farmer:

Oh no per month, Wonderful, so they just need to check in with TRICARE or whichever insurance they have Yep, they're checking with EFMP for the military and then whichever insurance they have, because some will pay up to 16 hours a month. It just depends on the insurance, and then sometimes even states have some kind of programs too. So you just have to check what's available.

Dina Farmer:

Or you can pay out of pocket, which I know is expensive, but it's always an option too to be able to have someone because child care aware. I believe they have a huge respite program and they can help yeah.

Dr. Eko:

Okay, and the way I like to look at paying out of pocket is like it's an investment right. It's not really a cost, because what are you gaining on the back end that you didn't? Have before you're gaining another set of hands that's actually trained, trained set of hands that will actually help you navigate and do the things that you would love to do for your son, for your children and for yourselves it's true, and there's so many programs out there too.

Dina Farmer:

Like I work with a company they're called break relief sitters, a respite company that will go and travel with you to a destination too. So, if you wanted to like one of the places I booked the most is Japan you can have the respite care provider go with your family all the way to Japan and help you for the duration of the two so you're not alone.

Dr. Eko:

Yeah, so I'm so curious. You said one of the destinations you booked the most is Japan. Why?

Dina Farmer:

I feel like a lot of families who have autistic children also really like anime and manga. I'm going to say that, yeah, yeah.

Dr. Eko:

That makes sense.

Dina Farmer:

Yeah, so we're always going to. They always want to go, like, to the manga museum in kyoto, or go to like to the ghibli museum, or go to tokyo disneyland, or go to universal studios, japan, which is my favorite, or you know, just to eat the food and see the culture and it's all beautiful, and maybe because I was stationed there for a while too, so I like know it's literally like my second home. Oh that's wonderful.

Dr. Eko:

Yes, my kids have been telling me Japan is on the list they need to go. I'm like, okay, okay, we're going to have to figure this one out. For somebody who knows Japan, great, I'm happy to help, I love.

Dr. Eko:

Japan. Okay, so I like your suggestion about starting with little, tiny bitty steps. What else? What can you say to the parents about their mindset about little, tiny bitty steps? What else? What can you say to the parents about their mindset, about changing their mindset around what's possible for their children to do? Because I think that's where it begins A lot of them feel like children can't do many things right, but I don't think that's the case, actually not, I don't think. I know that's not the case. So what do you say to parents?

Dina Farmer:

It's's true, and I feel like just reminding yourself that your child isn't limited by their disability. You can go anywhere you want to, and that's really by pushing your own self out of your comfort zone. Because even for myself, right, my boys are night and day. They're both autistic, but my youngest hates theme parks. I'm able to love same park, but I just say I'm not going to limit them to not be able to experience something because I'm afraid that they can't do something. You know, because I know that they can, because we sit there all day advocating for our own children, right Of like, we want these services, or, you know, we believe that they can do X, y and Z and they can move mountains, but we also need to give them the space to move those mountains.

Dina Farmer:

And that includes travel, because I personally have found that travel has unlocked doors for my oldest son, in particular with talking when he was younger.

Dina Farmer:

It wasn't I wouldn't call him nonverbal, but it was not full sentences when he was about four years old and that was like hello, there's another sign right there. Why weren't you paying attention to Dina Like? But when we started going on vacations, one big thing I started doing with my oldest son was pen trading at Disney and that encouraged him to have to speak to a cast member to ask for something. And I didn't. I wasn't there to help him, like verbally there to help him. I just said, if you want this pen, you've got to do it yourself. You know, and I feel like even that, saying like hey, I believe in you, I think that you can do this is something that we have to remember as parents, that our children are capable of doing it and do it scared, because it's gonna be scary for girls, in fact but the baby steps are the way to get to bigger things absolutely, and that's so true with anything in life.

Dr. Eko:

Really, it's the baby steps, the mindset that says I can't just throw it out the window. And I always love to tell parents every child has a strength. Look for that strength that your child has, and that's what we want to do. So if your child loves music, then we want to get them in music lessons. We want to travel to places that are important to music. Things like that make a difference in the child's life and also in our lives right, Because when our children are doing well, we do better.

Dina Farmer:

I totally agree and I love like, yeah, leaning into their, their strengths as well. Like my youngest son is totally into space. So I have a trip planned to Huntsville Alabama is not that far away and then there's one really close to us in Mobile and then down in Port Canaveral.

Dina Farmer:

I'm like we have all these trips planned because I'm he's generally excited to go to those places so it makes that journey a lot less stressful, because he wants to be a part of it, he wants to see it, and I'm like, yeah, well, I'm just going to lean into it, just like with the impression of my oldest.

Dr. Eko:

Okay, so your youngest loves that. So then, what do you do with the oldest son, who may I don't know if he does, but he may not be as well?

Dina Farmer:

So, like I mentioned with theme park things, I actually do vacation separately with my boys. My youngest and I. We have an annual mom and son trip to Universal. It's just the two of us. It's so great because I just get time with him no dad, no siblings and he gets to do whatever you know. Like you want to eat ice cream all day, you want to go on all these rides I'm not going to stop you because I love roller coasters, but I vacation with them separately, in particular with something that's so stressful for my youngest, so that my oldest is not limited by his brother and he still gets to experience what he wants to. And then my youngest isn't so completely stressed out because I know that the crowds and the theme parks and the smells and like everything is just a lot for him. So, like I said, I focus in on my youngest with like OK, well, we'll just go. Thankfully, my oldest is totally interested in space too, so we do it together. But I do make like pencil in time that I'm like I'm just going to go with your brother to go do blah, blah, blah and you can hang back on your tablet or your phone and, like you know, just chill because now he's a teenager, so I can leave him alone.

Dina Farmer:

But I think the biggest thing is definitely like, if you do have two children or multiple children, it's okay to vacation separately 100%. And I do that. I do that often, even with my youngest. He does advocate for himself and say, hey, mom, I just want to go, because we're very, very lucky to live in Florida and very close to the beach. And I just say, can we go on a vacation, just you and me, to a hotel at the beach, and that's all he wants to do. And I'm like, yeah, I can accommodate that request. It's super easy because his brother would be bored. So, yeah, so we do that. Beach vacations for my youngest and theme parks for my oldest. It's beautiful because I get to spend time separately with my children, which sometimes our kids really do crave that one-on-one time with you, and vacationing like that is really a perfect way to give them that opportunity.

Dr. Eko:

Okay, I love that because you just people free. Everybody always has to go together to the same place and do the same thing. Yeah, it just creates more stress than it's worth. So thank you for saying that. So question for the people who are thinking what do I do with my spouse? I want to have some time with my spouse and even vacationing with each kid. I have some time with my spouse and if I'm vacationing with each kid?

Dina Farmer:

So then, at what point do you vacation with spouse or how do we build that bond between you and your partner? I have two really great suggestions. The first one is, if you're traveling, you can have that respite care provider come along and they can actually watch your children in your hotel room for you and you and your spouse can go spend some time together while you're on your big family vacation, if you want. If you book a cruise or an all-inclusive resort, they also have kids clubs. If you want to keep your child in the kids club from the second it's open to the second it's closed at nighttime you can, it's enough. It's. Of course, if your child's not potty trained, you're going to have to come back and change them, because they don't do that for certain ages and up at kids clubs. They just will ask. They'll probably call you on the phone to say, hey, can you come and change them or feed them if they have really restricted diets, for example? The last thing is it's hard for us as military families, right, because our families are usually not near us, but if you have a family member that you trust a lot, then maybe going on a short weekend getaway and dropping them off at a family member's house is okay.

Dina Farmer:

I love cruises in particular because there's like three-day cruises. You're in and out and you get to spend time with your, your spouse or your loved one, and then you can come back refreshed and renewed and there's so much wellness that's going on with cruise lands lately that it's insane. It's like spas and meditation and mindfulness and yoga and Pilates. There's like so much, and even the spa services are like so amazing. So there's three options for you. There's always an opportunity if you find it. You have to make time for that.

Dr. Eko:

Wow, thank you so much for opening our minds to possibilities, because really that's what you've done. You just opened so many parents' minds to the possibility that you know I can do this. I'm not stuck in my house, so thank you so much. And so where can parents find you, find out more about what you do, so they can connect and so where can parents find you, find out more about what you do so they can connect?

Dina Farmer:

Sure, so I have a website, www. spectrumgetaways. com, and that's getaways with an S at the end. I try to really be on the nose about who I serve so that no confusion. Anyone pretty much in the disabled community I can serve, but I do help mostly families with autistic children, and I live on Instagram and now threads as well same handle Spectrum Getaways. I have a blog, so if you are interested in reading more about the different types of autism travel options that are out there because it's emerging and I'm constantly updating it you can see that as well.

Dr. Eko:

Oh, so wonderful. And parents, please do yourself a big favor and go connect with miss farmer. So thank you so much again for coming on and please do us a big favor share this with families and friends that need to hear about life saving, because travel is education, travel can be life saving, life saving information so that they they can enrich their children's lives and they can enrich their lives as well. So have a wonderful day everyone, thank you.