Brain Power with Dr. Eko

Ep. 07 | The Transformative Impact of Women Supporting Women

• Dr. Hokehe Eko • Season 1 • Episode 7

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Have you ever felt the profound impact of sisterhood ripple through your life? Nancy and Amy Harrington, creators of The Passionistas Project, join us to weave a tapestry of stories that celebrate the strength of female bonds and their effects on our emotional and brain health. As we traverse their transition from Hollywood to fostering a vibrant community for passion-driven women, we uncover the resilience behind their mission and the importance of having a support system that's as unwavering as it is nurturing. Their tales of empowerment remind us that whether in personal triumphs or professional pursuits, the solidarity of sisterhood is a force that can propel us to greatness.

Stepping into the arena of mindset, we bring in the expertise of a hypnotherapist and a motivational speaker to dissect the often paralyzing grip of negative thoughts and perfectionism. My own journey to medical school, littered with obstacles and self-doubt, stands testament to the power of encouragement. As we navigate the therapeutic world of journaling and the essential practice of gratitude, we gather the tools not only to redefine success but to embrace it in its true form. This episode is a heart-to-heart, a compilation of life lessons in resilience, gratitude, and kindness, all underpinned by the love and wisdom passed down from our dearest mentors. Join us as we share these narratives, strategies, and the undeniable warmth of a community rooted in passion and support.

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Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Hello Glow family, thank you and welcome to another episode of Brain Power with Dr. Eko. I have some amazing guests for us today The Passionistas Sisters, Nancy and Amy Harrington. Yes, I'm going to let them explain what Passionistas means. I think you can already guess by the name. But yes, they are amazing sisters and they are here to share with us the importance of sisterhood, or even a brotherhood or whatever the case may be for you, but how important all of that is to building and growing our emotional and brain health. So without further ado. I'm going to let them introduce themselves better, because I know they have lots more to add to that. I like to let my guests introduce themselves, so welcome to the show, Nancy and Amy.

Nancy Harrington:

Thank you, thanks for having us. So yeah, The Passionistas Project is an inclusive sisterhood where passion-driven women come to get support, they find their purpose, they feel empowered to transform their lives and change the world. And we've had the Passionistas project now for seven years, I think. I don't know, I can't do math, I'm not good at math but since 2017, whatever that is and we started it just because we used to have backgrounds in Hollywood. We both worked in Hollywood and we really wanted to use our skill set to do something more impactful. And there was so much going on with women around the world, with the Me Too movement, Time's Up movement, and we really wanted to share the positive stories about women and the empowering stories about women and inspire women to step into their power. So that's where the Passionistas project came from.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

I love it. It's wonderful. So, Amy, would you like to add to that introduction?

Amy Harrington:

No, I think Nancy summed it up really well except we're just. We are constantly surrounded by incredible women who are doing amazing and diverse things, who are from marginalized communities, who are you know, don't ever don't find. They don't often get a chance to speak for themselves, to share their own stories. People tend to speak for them or about them, and we give everybody a platform to tell their own story, and we're just so fortunate to have that support network for ourselves as well.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yes, so critical to have support networks. I don't think I'll be sitting here talking to you if I didn't have a support network, because it is real and I tell all my parents, my parents, we all need people to talk to. It's so critical for us because there is no way we can take care of our kids if we haven't taken care of ourselves. So 100% impossible.

Amy Harrington:

I think you would agree with that Nancy was sick for a few months last year and I had to do a lot of it just me, and I'm not used to that. You know, with Nancy and I have been business partners now for 20 years and it was really stressful just the thought of, oh, I should run this by her. Oh, no, I can't. And we've been preaching to everybody for years now, and especially with this new membership community that we're starting, that we are our target audience and our members and our loyal following are people who are out there doing it all by themselves. They don't work in big companies, they don't have HR departments or they don't have, you know, some big medical network that they can tap into for their personal needs and what they like.

Amy Harrington:

About what we have is the sisterhood and how we can rely on each other, we can trust each other, we support each other without question, and we always say, well, be a part of our sisterhood, because we understand and it was until Nancy got sick that I really understood. Oh my God, doing this 100% or even 98%, because I could still be like so I know you're in bed, but just one quick question. Doing it on your own is so hard and you really just need someone to say, like, does this look okay to you? Or, before I send this email, will you check it out? So we have a new appreciation in the last eight months for how hard it is to not have people around you in your business, in your personal life, in making an impact in the world. To be out there doing it on your own is daunting. So we want to give people a chance to join our sisterhood so that we can be supportive because we get it.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yeah, absolutely so. Let's go back to the beginning. How did this sisterhood even begin? I know you are sisters, but still there are sisters that don't talk to each other.

Nancy Harrington:

Amy and I have been best friends since she was born. The family lures that I asked my mother to have a baby when I went to kindergarten so that she wouldn't be lonely. But in fact I was the one who was lonely and I wanted a sister and I got my sister a few months later and we've been best friends ever since and we've spent a lot of time together and we loved each other and we have all the same interests and thought processes. We really do kind of share a brain. It's a little strange. We sometimes say we're twins that have separated by five years, because we sort of have that twin power. But after college Amy moved to California and I was back on the East Coast. I followed her. 10 years later Finally came out to California. We were both in Hollywood. Amy was the vice president of post-production and visual effects at Warner Brothers Studios, working on all of the feature films. She worked on over 250 feature films While she was there, including Harry Potter and the Matrixes and Batman and all sorts of amazing movies.

Nancy Harrington:

I, back in Boston, had my own graphic design business and my own theater company that I had with my husband, and then, when I moved to California, I started working at an ad agency that did the Academy Award campaigns for Miramax and Paramount Classics. So we were both heavily entrenched in the Hollywood business and we loved it. But it was super stressful and we both decided at the same time that again because we share a brain that we were ready for the next adventure. So we quit our jobs at the same time and we really know what we were gonna do. We were working with a friend on a project that it wasn't really going anywhere and we bounced around. We did a bunch of different odd jobs, video jobs and all sorts of crazy things. But we landed in the world of celebrity interviewing and we did, and still do, celebrity interviews, archival interviews under a couple of hours long. We do a lot of red carpet stuff and it's really fun. And it's really fun to do it together because it's like, oh my God, that's Laverton and Shirley and we used to watch them together on TV when we were little, so it's been really fun.

Nancy Harrington:

But in 2016, like we said, things started changing and we realized we have these skills that we could apply towards doing something more impactful and we really wanted to promote women. So that's how the Passionistas Project came about and we started with a podcast and where we interview women who are following their passions. And we still have our podcasts and if you've never heard it, it's amazing, go check out these women. And we also have a subscription box that's filled with products by women-owned businesses and we are launching. We have an annual summit that's the Women's Equality Summit, where we bring women from marginalized communities together to share, to talk about their shared challenges. And then we are launching next week the Sisterhood. So that's kind of the long trajectory of our story, wow that's simply amazing.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

That's all. Through the twists and turns. You remained together, even when you were apart, you still remain together.

Amy Harrington:

So you know, that's that it's really, it's been one of the most interesting things to me is like we discovered these new found passions along the way and we both had a passion for the same things. Like one of us ever dreamed of being celebrity interviewers, and we're actually very introverted people and now, all of a sudden, we're like sitting down and having three hour conversations with people and we both fell in love with it. And then, when it was like, okay, we need to use these skills to support women, we both were 100% on board with it. Like everything along the way has just been like yep, that's the next thing we're gonna do. That makes total sense. So we're very, very lucky that we are, our interests and our passions have evolved on the same path, thank God.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Well, because you do share a brain Totally.

Nancy Harrington:

Totally, we really do, we really. I can't believe that. What else, what the we?

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

can't explain it that Right. So, yes, I agree, I agree to your statement that you do share a brain. You can see it while we're sitting here. We, like you can see it. You look so unlike to and, yes, that's wonderful. So what are the ways that you found that helping women find their voice that helps them grow as people, as women, like, yeah. So what are the ways you found that that help with what you're doing?

Amy Harrington:

Well, I think that in general, we've come a long way, but we have a long way to go right. So I think, in general, women still are feeling like they're supposed to be empowered, they're allowed to be empowered, but there are all these restrictions put on us, and even politically, more and more restrictions seem to be putting on us, being put on us in recent years. So I think one is just it gives people a chance to really step into their power in a way that they might not, they might think they can in the world outside, but they there's something holding them back a little bit. And I think when you're surrounded by women who are also trying to step into their power or stepping into their power, it gives you the strength and the courage to do it. So we have a lot of women who are empty nesters, or they are women who have had massive corporate jobs or have had their own medical practice and they're at an age or a point in their life where it's like, yeah, but I really want to have a crochet business, or I really want to be a writer and no matter how powerful you've been in this position in the past, that's a scary thing to step into. That you know that truth of what you really want to do. So by having these other women around you who are encouraging you to do it, but also holding you accountable for getting it done and giving you the cheering you on and by giving you the reality check, I think it just lets women be who they ultimately really want to be and know it's OK.

Amy Harrington:

And I think our I mean we just spoke to a woman yesterday. She's a disability rights activist and she's one of our power passionistas. In our community we have what we call our power passionistas and they're our resident experts and her name is Selena Luna. She's an actress and a disability rights activist and she was saying she just what she appreciates about being a part of this is just the inspiration, just like every event we've done that she's been a part of. She says she walks away from it feeling inspired by what she's heard the other women say and there's a lot to be said. Just from you know it's that if you see it, you can be it thing you know.

Amy Harrington:

So if you see a woman with a disability getting up and talking about how she's overcome all of the challenges society keeps throwing in her path to become an actress or a comedian or whatever that the journey is. I think it just helps other women realize they can do it too. So that's what the sisterhood brings out, you know.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yes, that is so, so, so, so important.

Nancy Harrington:

Yeah.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

I mean, I even I have my own brain story, which is why I talk about the brain I was told. Short story was I was told I could not go to medical school because I was in two car accidents back to back and the doctor flat out told me you will never go to med school, I suggest you go find something else to do. Well, I believed him at first, but then I had my family telling me oh no, you're a doctor, you are going back to school, whether you failed out or not. So of course I headed back to school and here we are. But if I didn't have that support in my corner, if I don't, if I haven't found a tribe of fellow women saying you can do this, you can run a practice, you can from the ground up, you can do all of those things, it wouldn't happen. So I really applaud you for what you're doing and reaching out to marginalized women, who often are surrounded by people telling them they can't. That word can't, can't, can't.

Nancy Harrington:

And there's nothing stronger. There's nothing stronger than a woman who's been told she can't do something Exactly.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Right, because that's exactly what she's going to do.

Nancy Harrington:

Yes.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yeah, so that's so wonderful. So in what ways do you encourage women to build resilience? I appreciate the community, but I'm sure that there are things that you tell them that help them build up that power inside of themselves to know, yes, I can do it, even though I feel the fear. How can I overcome the fear and still do it?

Nancy Harrington:

Right, yeah, we have a lot of great women in our community that talk about building confidence and stepping into your fear and yeah, I think that's the biggest thing and again it's you know you just need somebody, like whether it's your parents or your sister or somebody like I think you need to have somebody cheering you on. You know you need to have the cheerleader. So I think the biggest thing is to find your cheerleader, you know, find somebody who's going to be honest, give their feed back.

Nancy Harrington:

But just not let you stop not let you give up on your dream or your passion, or you know your drive. So I think to me that's the biggest thing. I don't know, what do you think, aimee?

Amy Harrington:

I mean I think if you're looking within, one of our power passionistas is a woman named Lauren Best who is a hypnotherapist, and she's been talking a lot lately about letting go of perfectionism.

Amy Harrington:

Because I think that's another big thing that women have been told. You know we, to get to that one seat at the table, you have to be 100 times better than everybody else, so you can't make a single mistake and you can't let them see you sweat, you know. So we've been having a lot of conversations lately with Lauren and Julie DeLuca Collins, who's another one of our power passionistas, and just a lot of other women about the fact that Just do it, don't wait till it's perfect, move forward, and it's never gonna be perfect. The only person that's looking, really looking for that perfectionism is you, yep, and nobody else knows what perfect means.

Amy Harrington:

Exactly Right, you have this image of perfect in your head and it's like if I said to Nancy oh, that's not perfect, she'd be like why it looks great. You know, I'm constantly doing that like this is crooked and she's like okay, I want to let go, like just what you are, so much more than good enough. You're amazing. Let go of the perfectionism and do it. You can fix any mistakes along the way, you know. Just just you got to. You got to find it in yourself to let go of all that pressure.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yes, you're absolutely right, Because nobody else can actually do that Right, and it's actually like starting to believe that we actually have value. I think a lot of the issues comes from when we think because of what we've been told, or even as a side effect of what we've been told, we come up with the idea in our heads that we are not enough and we are not incapable, and all of that, and it does take. It does take some doing to change your thoughts where it's possible. It's possible to change the thoughts that you're thinking about yourself, because I think ultimately that affects the steps that you take right.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

And your ability to move forward Absolutely.

Nancy Harrington:

Absolutely, 100% agree. As a medical professional, do you have this? Do you, are you aware of the steps, the thoughts you need to tell yourself to get out of that negative space?

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yes, I am Definitely. Oh, yeah, I have them all day long. But it's about questioning the thoughts, right? So if a thought comes in your head is asking, is that true? And then the question, the answer may be yes or no and you ask yourself again is that really true? And the fact that you just paused by asking you pause that thought by asking the question, already pauses the thoughts in its steps, in its tracks, right? And then your brain has a chance to like recalibrate itself. Because now you're questioning your brain versus just letting your brain like take over. I like to remind people we are still in control of our brains and we still can override thoughts. So that's what I found, I tell people and when I teach that to my parents, or wherever I'm talking.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Even the kids I take care of. I'm like let's question your thought. Is that really true? And then, if it's not true, then what's the truth? Then we tell ourselves the truth and then we go take the corresponding action, because I found that helps. Is that what you used to?

Nancy Harrington:

That's great, it's perfect. Yeah, I just always hear what other people have to say about it, because it's so helpful to everyone. We all have those negative thoughts, right?

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yeah.

Amy Harrington:

And so what reminds me? It's a slightly different topic, but it reminds me of this. I heard this monk speak one time and he was talking about monkey brain. In that, which I have a lot like, I get five years ahead, it's like no wait, what's happening right now? And his thing was when your monkey brain starts to spin out of control, give your monkey something else to do. So say to your monkey like okay, monkey, let's focus on what you know, what are you going to wear tomorrow? Because it always happens in the middle of the night, right? So I always think that, like, that's my little. It's a similar thing. Like okay, I'm spinning out of control on this. Like you know why I focused on this crazy thought. And it's like, give your monkey something else to do and it just, you know, helps you refocus on the task at hand or the reality of your situation.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yes, oh, I love that, the monkey. I like that when I tell them that, so I'm going to borrow that. No, tell me a monkey. Okay that's funny. So, Nancy, what do you use to counteract your negative thought?

Nancy Harrington:

It's funny, Amy taught me the monkey thing and I definitely do the monkey thing. I found my bed spinning out, I'll find myself lying in bed trying to go to sleep and feeling anxious. It's like I'm in the safety of my own bedroom. Everything's calm. Why am I anxious? I do that thing like, okay, good process. What I'm really anxious about? But yeah, I tell the monkey, like, think about something else that you can't solve this problem right now. It's like clock in the morning it's like you look too bad yeah.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yeah, no, have you found that? I saw that you have your success journal. So you talk about the importance of journaling, because that's a really important thing to help you demand.

Amy Harrington:

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think it's just such the best way to get the thoughts out of your head, you know, and to write them down. I used to have two journals. I haven't done this in a long time, but I used to have two journals One that was like more of my gratitude, like these okay, these are my positive thoughts and these are like the things I'm going to remember when I get stressed out, like lately it's been Nancy's healthy, anything that starts to worry me or freak me out. I'm like, yes, but Nancy's healthy, and she wasn't for a long time last year. But then I also had a second journal which was letting my negative stuff just spew out and I didn't want to mix the two up. I wanted, like one to just be like the good stuff and one to be my darkest, you know, thoughts and, and so that I found that really helped me.

Amy Harrington:

And then, when Nancy and I started to realize we had all of these quotes from all these incredible women that we've been interviewing, we've done over I don't know a hundred and something interviews at this point and just for our podcast, and we, everyone we always ask what's your definition of success? Because that's a huge part of our community and our philosophy. You know we had from the outside world. We had what you would consider ultimate success, but we weren't enjoying it and we weren't happy doing it, and so we needed to figure out what success meant to us after that, because it certainly wasn't going to be titles and it certainly wasn't going to be money. So what did success look like if those weren't the definitions of it? And so, as we were interviewing women, we always ask that question and we get the most amazing and, again, inspiring answers.

Amy Harrington:

So we put together the journal as a, as a, you know, helpful tool for women out there who are trying to kind of redefine that in their lives. And I've gone through it. I've actually, you know, we wrote it and we put it, pulled it all together, but I've actually gone through it now and I've started doing it, and it just shifts your perspective. When you hear someone else say success is feeling satisfied at the end of the day, it's like, yeah, okay, I, I, I do feel that. Or who are the women in your life that are your support network? And you make that list and you see who's there on your side cheering you on. It's like it just totally again shifts your perspective and gets those negative thoughts in check.

Nancy Harrington:

Yeah, the way the journalists set up, we had it's a 52 week journal. I mean you can do it quicker than that, but if you want you to do one a week, there's a quote from somebody that we've interviewed on our podcast and next to it there's a prompt, and so sometimes it's make a list or, you know, make a playlist of songs and, you know, have a dance party or do a collage of something you know. So it's a fun journal and it really, like Baby says, it really gives your thought process, it shifts your thought process a little bit, yeah, and we hope that we can help women to find success on their own terms, you know, because success isn't just money or a title.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

You know, those two things can disappear really fast. And then what right that brings you to? Who am I and what's my identity and where do I fit in this world? And those eight little questions we asked. But I wanted to go back to something about your journal, because when your thoughts shift, once it shifts your perspective, then that shifts you into gratitude, which of course, will help your newfound thoughts, like, keep going right, and so you're less likely, or even when you fall back into the negative thoughts, or you have them, then you're more, hopefully, will remember the things you agree to for the things that have happened and the success you've defined for yourself, and then you'll be more likely to move forward. Right, so it's like stepwise. Right, so it helps you Like, yeah, that's wonderful. So, yeah, do you have any last minute tips that you would like to share with our parents, tips about how they can implement this in their own lives? We've talked about, we've touched, a few different things, but your last takeaways would be great.

Amy Harrington:

Yeah, I mean it's interesting that, speaking to parents, because we were talking to someone recently and we were saying, you know, this is all the real genesis of this, if you really want to dig deep into it, is the principles our mother taught us. Our mother was amazing and she passed away when we were in our 20s and 30s, and which was a long time ago, and you know, she taught us the importance of the fact that your brother and your sisters are always your best friends. They're always there for you. They are no matter what happens in life. You can have your little squabbles over who gets to put one on the TV or whatever, but the end of the day they're there for you.

Amy Harrington:

And we realized very, you know, probably six months ago, as we were working on this, like this is really for our mother and really important guidance and basic principles of love and kindness that she instilled in us. And so I think, as parents, not only for your children but for yourself and each other, it's like don't forget those Betty principles, you know, like give yourself, cut yourself some slack, give yourself a little bit of love when you're having a hard day, you know, remember that you're always there for yourself. And then you know, spread that with the other people in your life.

Nancy Harrington:

I can't say it any better than that. That was beautiful.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yes, it sounds like back to basics love, kindness, grace for yourself, because, again, nobody's perfect, nobody is a rife. You never quite arrive. I don't think that's the fun.

Amy Harrington:

It's the journey that is, and is the fun part. Like we the other day had a realization like oh my God, but this weird thing that we spent a year doing in our lives that seemed completely disconnected. We were like, oh my God, this is why we did that thing for a year, because now we're doing this and it makes sense, so you got to enjoy the journey. It's not easy every day, but it is the fun part.

Nancy Harrington:

Wonderful.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

But when you do it in sisterhood, it makes all the difference, it's even better. Yeah, yes. So tell our listeners where they can find out about your podcast, about your sisterhood that's launching, about the success journal.

Nancy Harrington:

The best way to find us is go to thepassionistasprojectcom. All of our social is there, the book is there, the sisterhood links are there and you can always email us and DM us on social media. We're open books and we're ready to answer any questions you have and give you some support.

Dr. Hokehe Eko:

Yeah, wonderful. Thank you so much, ladies, for coming on. I'm sure I got some wonderful things out of this, and I'm sure you did too, so please leave us your thoughts, questions, reviews. We appreciate it all and look forward to talking with you on the next episode. So, thank you.

Amy Harrington:

Thanks for having us, thanks for having us, thank you, thank you.