Questions Parents of Children with Autism & ADHD Are Afraid to Ask (But Should) | Parenting by the Book Ep. 2

Parents are asking these questions every day quietly, in frustration, or after another hard moment at home.

In this video, Dr. Eko breaks down the real questions parents of children with autism and ADHD are asking right now from screen time and picky eating to meltdowns, communication, sleep, and behavior that doesn’t make sense on the surface.

This is not about labels. It is about understanding what is actually happening beneath your child’s behavior so you can respond with clarity, not confusion.

If this message resonated with you and you’d like deeper guidance, you can connect with Dr. Eko and access her book below:

📖 Get the book here: https://amzn.to/4mi2o47

Listen to the full episode on your favorite podcast platform and check out the video version on our YouTube channel!

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If you want to schedule an ADHD/Autism appointment for your child, you may contact Glow Pediatrics:

• Phone: 405-871-5807
• Fax: 949-695-2681
•  info@glowpediatrics.com

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📧 dreko@glowpediatrics.com
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Transcript

Why Parents Must Ask Questions

SPEAKER_00 0:27

So, parents, I bet you have lots of questions that you think are silly questions, or you shouldn't ask those questions. But truth be told, you need to ask them because you are the expert on your child, right? Welcome to Parenting by the Book. That's a part of Dr. Hoke Echo's programming. And I'm Dr. Hoke Echo, founder of Globe Pediatrics, and I'm here to answer the questions that you should ask, were you afraid to ask? And I want to encourage you to ask because when you ask, you get wisdom, you get the knowledge you need to address your child's needs. And I want to remind you one more time you are the expert on your child. So, first question of is is screen time helping my child regulate themselves or making things worse? So the answer to that is it depends, right? So in our practice at GoPediatrics, we talk a lot, um, where we talk a lot to parents of children who have been diagnosed with ADHD and autism, or parents or even parents of children who haven't been diagnosed yet and are still in the

Screen Time And Self Regulation

SPEAKER_00 1:33

process. So with our parents of children with ADHD and autism, I usually will say, please, as much as possible, that we want to decrease the amount of screen time your child watches, because children with ADHD and autism can hyperfixate on shows and insist that that's what they need to watch over and over and over and over again, which can be formed, become a form of self-soothing or regulation for them. But you know, in this world that seems to be going away from hands-on things, it's so important to get back to the basics, which is teaching your children how to do things with their hands, right? How to put those blocks together, how to actually build the items that they are, not just have the have their toys be electrical or watch the screen to get education. And yes, your children may be learning things, but really our children learn most from our environment, right? So you want to have your children be doing things as much as possible in the environment with their hands, with their senses, feeling things, touching things. That helps definitely.

unknown 2:54

No.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Um, and even if your child is neurotypical, right? Still the same thing. For example, your child is a toddler, zero to two, the American Academy of Pediatrics says those screens. And how can we accomplish that? So easy. Talking to your child, giving them things that they can hand handle, that they can feel, that they can see, that they can touch, right? And getting on the floor with them and playing with them. And if you say, Oh, I am too busy to do that, well, I want you to reconsider because the investment we put in our children is priceless. Before you know it, the children are grown up and gone. And if we don't spend the time with them, reading to them, playing with them, just simply sitting outside with them, being with them, it just it it goes away so fast. So, as a mommy of three, I want to encourage you, and I'm watching my children grow up with it before my very eyes, and I can't believe it. Is let's invest our time, the quality time we spend with our children and decrease screen time because we want our children to soak in our environment even more. Okay, I hope that helps. Uh, second question is let's see, why do transitions like leaving the house or stopping play cause such extreme reactions? Again, I think this question is from a parent of a child with ADHD and autism. So, why are transitions so difficult? And that's actually one of the questions I explore when I'm doing evaluations. Because children with autism

Why Transitions Trigger Big Reactions

SPEAKER_00 4:32

or ADHD, they love and they enjoy routine. And that's remember, it's a brain type, right? That's the way their brain works. They like to have things set in place and they're predictable, right? They know they're gonna wake up in the morning and eat a hot breakfast and go play outside, or wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, and go to school. So if something else comes in between there, it's it's hard for them to manage it or to process it in their brains because their brains are already set on this is how it goes. So, one way to accomplish to help your child get through the transitions that are difficult for them is to tell them ahead of time, hey, this is what's coming up. We're going to the dentist first before we go to school. And if you can tell them a day before and remind them the morning of, hey Jeff, we're going to the dentist first before we go to school. That gives them one, a sense of belonging, like you're you're trying to communicate with them. It helps them walk through the transition much easier so that you, mom or dad and child, we can be happier, right? And sometimes that doesn't help, but this that's a proving strategy that I found that helps the parents in our practice is just informing your child of what's coming up so that they understand. And giving them time before you stop playing. Don't come up and say, Oh, stop playing right now. You have five more minutes, you have one more minute, okay. We're gonna have to go now, you know. And because it's so important for us to be able to regulate ourselves as parents if we expect our children to be regulated. So giving them that gives them a sense of ownership, right? As part and they have some ownership in the way their lives are evolving and playing out on a daily basis. So I hope that helps. Um, is my child being defiant or are they overwhelmed and I'm simply missing the signal? That is such a question that I get on most days. The answer to that is your child is most probably over stimulated and over-regulated, and they don't know how to communicate that to you. And so, behavior is communication.

Defiance Or Overwhelm Read Signals

SPEAKER_00 6:51

And I want you to remember that any behavior you see is a form of communication. So, what can you do if your child is being defiant? Is now you understand that they are being overwhelmed or they are or they are overregulated. What are the things that you have found that your child that helps your child become regulated? Is it a soft, quiet place? Is it um dimming the lights? Is it talking to them in a softer tone? Because if we parents become detective of detectives of our children and we're able to regulate ourselves, then guess what happens? The child will pick up on that, and when you are addressing them, they'll be more likely to listen. And this works for every child, whether you're neurotypical or neurodiverse, it works for every child, right? The question often isn't what's wrong with this child, the question is what's going on, um, what's happening to the child, right? It's not what's wrong with them, it's what are they feeling, how what's going on in their environment, what's going on in their mind. And if they're not able to tell you, meaning they're not verbal, there are ways that your child communicates or attempts to communicate with you. And as parents, it's so important to recognize what those are and approach it from that angle as opposed to approaching it from a place of frustration or a place of anger because we've just had it. And are there days where we've had it? Yes, there are days where I've had it. I was just thinking before I came out here, my win for today is that I dropped off three kids in three different schools and there was no voices raised. Proud of myself because sometimes the kids wake up and they're not really awake and just want to like stroll through the morning, but we cannot stroll through the morning when there's when mommy has to get to work and when the school opens at this particular time. So it's just encouraging your parents again. Um, is we start with us as parents to regulate ourselves. What are the thick ways you can pour into yourself? What are the ways that you can talk gently and softly and kindly to yourself so that when you're addressing your child, they can sense that from you and you come across in a communicative way rather than an aggressive way. So if you've enjoyed these, or if you have further questions, please leave your questions in the comments. We'll be sure to come back and answer them. And at Glow Pediatrics, what we've decided to do is combine a parent-led communication program and alongside nutrition and environmental care. So it's making it a holistic program for parents of children who have been diagnosed with

Support Options And Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 9:45

ADHD and autism, or even if you haven't been diagnosed but you have concerns about your child, um, we're we're happy to be of support to you. And so just comment, communication, comment nutrition, and we will we will give you, send you the information that you need. But please subscribe if you haven't to the channel and turn on your notifications so that you can get more of this content and please share this with someone who needs to hear this. And remember, you're valuable, you're seen, you're loved by God, and you're the best parent for your child. So take care and keep shiny.